Embracing the Differences

Wheel chair ramps for the paraplegic, machines that help blind people to access computers and printed materials, allow deaf people to use the telephone, and let dexterity impaired people "type" without using their hands.   Society has made wonderful provisions for the disabled. 

At home and in the workplace, we do what we can to help the challenged comfortable and productive.

But can we accommodate everyone? Not every job is a proper fit for everyone. We cannot expect a blind person to be a lifeguard at the YMCA. Nor would a taste tester at Ben and Jerry's be the best job for a diabetic. So should the disabled person "try harder" to fit in with all of society? Should we say to them 'buck up' or "get over your challenges"?  NO. We do encourage them to take their special challenges and find the job that is suited to their needs. We encourage them to turn their challenges into strengths that have a place in this world.

But what about the person struggling with a "hidden" disability? The person with ADD, mental challenges, sensory disorders or....? The list goes on. When a disability is not immediately 'visible', co-workers and even family have trouble understanding a need for accommodation. They may perceive the person as unmotivated to "fit in".

Asperger's can be considered a hidden disability which results in great difficulty getting additional support and empathy. This is largely due to the fact that many of these people tend to be seen as immature, self centered or "picky". Unless you live with a person with aspergers, you may make careless statements like "you would change if you really wanted to"  "Life isn't easy, deal with it!" "you will never make it in this world unless you try harder"

A person with Asperger's can "change" about as easily as a diabetic can stop taking insulin. 

My son has Asperger's. Though not as severe as some, he has several 'challenges' that he must live with. I have been told be well meaning people that he needs to "get over his issues" I need to tell them that these "issues" may make life more difficult, but they are also things that make him special and unique.

Although there are many positive attributes to having asperger's, there are many challenging issues as well.  My son has sensory issues. Meaning that he has negative responses to certain touches and sounds. His clothing has always been a major concern. He wears very worn t-shirts and jeans 99.9% of the time. His clothing has to be extremely soft or he will be distracted and uncomfortable beyond his control (I have been told that new shirts feel like they are poking him). Should I insist he wear 'new' clothes so that he will 'fit in'? Or should I insist that the clothes he prefers at least be clean and be happy that he is comfortable and able to do his school work without being attacked by his clothing?  I have been told that he will be expected to do better in the workplace.  I am not totally sold on that idea. In my own situation, I rarely met any of my clients face to face. Today's work force offers a multitude of great opportunities for the 'casual dresser'. It also provides an infinite world of possibilities for the 'unique' to be productive and successful.

I ask those of you that know some one with a 'hidden' disability to celebrate the positives of those people and instead of insisting that they change what they cannot control, I ask you to change what you can, your acceptance of them. Try not to force your world on them, but think of them as that unique and special piece to the puzzle that without it, our world would be incomplete!